Friday, March 30, 2007

Ballad for a broken brush

Every man and his dog has one of those days.
See, I have this brush pen that I grew quite fond of. I've been using it for everything arround the house- fixing kitchen taps, punishing kids, unblocking toilets, Mixing frape batter, measuring certain things on my persona and so on. However, tonight I wanted to draw with it. And there was one hair on it's tip out of order. Easily fixable, I told to myself. I got me some scissors, and loaded with confidence, I proceeded to amputate the rogue little fucker.
Unfortunately, due to the poor lighting, fatigue and possibly poor scissors-handling skills I cut well into the body of the brush.
Now my beloved brush pen is handycapped and drawing with it feels like drawing with a chunk of coal.
I cried a little over my pen's bad luck, then proceeded to use it the best i can. But the result was poor and is displayed below.
In the morning, me and kids will have some utanasia ceremony for my pet pen in the back yard,utilising our brand new baseball bat (escpecially purchased for dealing with malfunctioning electronic equipment out of warranty) and some crude fireworks mostly made out of barbecue match shavings, engine grease and gunpowder wrapped in aluminium foil.
In the mean time, here's the failed product of my pen's last dance. The image was meant to be a tribute to Milo Manara's work, but due to the lack of Milenko's skill and poorly performing pen, it looks shamefully inadequate.

Cheers,

Milenko
Ah yes,
Also, thank you all for your kind replies.
Remaining Pawpeye sketches should be comming soon.



Monday, March 26, 2007

Pawpeye number three...ah, yes...NSFW once again

Got to my server, there's a 1400 pixel high version on offer now.

And it's followed by the initial rough and some clean-ups. I had fun doing the final piece, but I still think it lost a lot compared to the roughs.
Each pass, I thought I was improving it, but now I realise that I actually managed to stiffen it up and screw a few other things as well.
As for bassista's :) question, why Popeye, here's the answer:
I saw something nice, done in '99 in Croatia, on my way back from my last visit to the family in the old country. It was a comic called "Black Popeye" drawn by a guy who fed me once some 12 years ago and helped me more than he knows, but has ignored my attempts to contact him lately. I do not blame him for that, I sure can be a pain in the arse.
Annyhow, he is one of the most talented artists from the old place. Each time I see his new work it's that little bit better than his previous stuff which shows that his powers are yet to be fully unleashed...
His name is Stef Bartolic, and I am a great fan of his work.
Well now, although I did not like the story of "black popeye" much, I loved the art, and when i saw a front cover he did for it, I was amazed!
It depicted Popeye shooting up some heroin, with Olive leaning over, accidenatly exposing a big nipple on her breastless chest. Weirdly, I got half-a-mongrel* looking at it.
For some reason, the concept of nasty Characters from the old cartoon stuck in my head, and now the time came for me to get it out of the system.
My work is in no way rip off of Stef's concept, but was definately inspired by it.
Blah, anyhow, here it is all,

Regards,
Milenko

*Half-a-mongrel is an Aussie expression describing a massive erection, comparable with the best that porn industry has to offer :)

Friday, March 23, 2007

Some sketch and...



Done in a few minutes (obviously) using before mentiouned stolen brush pen and some lame colours.





And a new Pawpeye taser:)
I finally started having fun with the next popeye thingy :)
So here's a detail and the finished work should be up tomorrow, or sooner or later...

Cheers to you all,

Milenko

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

It only took 25 minutes!

And that does not justify the fact that it's crap.
Reason it's crap is because I am partialy colourblind, so My guess is that this one is red, but it could be anything.
Anyhow, about the piece:
I was walking down the street and I found this brush pen lying there.
I thought to myself: "hey I could take this pen home and use it to do crappy art!"
And that's what i did.
it's meant to be satan and his daughter, but due to my poor execution, it could be anybody...
make of it what you want.
(btw. by "walking down the street", I may have meant "walking past someone's desk at work" and by "found" I may have meant "took without owner's permission, stuffed down my pants and took home with me")
Aaanyhow...
Oh, yes! :
Sorry, it's definately no popeye, but that one is comming soon too.
As I may have mentioned, I have 3 more popeye sketches to clean up, don't even know why, but that's how it is.
But that has to wait till I get a bit more time.
I am trying to figure out what next classic cartoon should i abuse, but At the moment, i don't know...
Blah,
Oh yes, I have noticed that, for some reason, instead of getting my steady 12 visits per day (7 of which was me, checking if anyone else visited) now it's more like 40-50 per day.
I have been baffled by the mystery of people's visits.
But I shall investigate other time.
Cheers to all,

Milenko

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Bah... WatchOut! :::: NSFW

After looking at it, it's not that good, so scrunching to 1024 doesn't matter.
I need to get it out of the system, so here it is, and I will upload bigger version and post the link in this thread tomorrow.
Bah, I hate myself, but there's always "next time it'll be better"

Cheers,

Milenko

I warned you, it's not safe :)

Btw.
A few posts down, in my comments, Anthony Carpenter (whose work I really like) mentioned an old artist's say:
"It's only dirty if you're doing it right"
So my question to you, if you do not mind answering is,
Is it dirty enough?

hehe

I am probably the only one excited about this... Well at least i was untill I finished it.
Somehow, today, it does not look too good.
Anyhow, I lost the link for my ftp site, where I must upload finished image, in all of it's crappiness, because these here blog files uploads crunch everything to a maximum size of 1024 pixels either height or width, whichever is greater, and that's not big enough for my "masterpiece".
So I have to upload to my ftp and link it here and it can only be done tomorrow, so untill then, here's some sketches from the process, for the hell of it.
Initial sketch:
no matter how crappy it is, finished piece never looks as strong as this. For a while thre, I was able to preserve juice of it, but nowdays I have lost it again.
Aaanyhow:





First pass at clean-up:
nothing works now... I lost the vision and did not add any tricks to make it pretty. So it just plain sucks.











And finaly, a discarded sketch for popeye/olive pose...
No point in cleaning it up.

Till tomorrow, cheers to both of you,

Regards,

Milenko

Monday, March 12, 2007

Pawpeye anticipation !!!

First, warning: the next post, most likely coming in tomorrow, will contain half a breast with a possible nipple exposure, so those of you who are giddish, tomorrow is not the day to look 'ere.
But oce that one is up, even for sensitive ones, there's a good news! I am away for a couple of days, which might turn into weeks (no plans, just heaps to do at work and a lot of curling into a fetal position in my bedroom when no one is looking, and crying like a baby because of my lame life)...
Soo, at least you won't be bothered with mediocre explicit art. And I think I got it out of the system anyhow, so once back I plan only to post mellow, sterile half arsed crap to push away this filth, down to the bottom of the page, and eventually into the archive.
...Or not...
And yes, you have guessed right. manic state is over and depression is creeping in the life of Milenko.
Fucking cigarettes, they kept me at a constant fatigued state of "I do not give a shit".
I did not have a mood swing for decades, and now this.
Aaanyhow,

Here's some poppie art to add to anticipation...
Oh boy, oh boy :(

Cheers to you,

Milenko


Thursday, March 08, 2007

Spar-Taaaa!!!

It's going to be a while till it comes over here, and I can't stop doodling.
And to pay credit when the credit is due-
This one was based on an image done by a guy calling himself Icoco over at cafe sale:

http://img393.imageshack.us/img393/1263/web2rx6.jpg

Cheers,

Milenko

AAArgH "Sonic and the secret ring" Aaargh, WTF??!!

You see, I do not bitch often. But now I have to. There comes the time for a 37 y.o. man to complain about inferior quality of his Wii software.
SEGA, or whoever made this WII Sonic piece of shift, wtf?
I was waiting for a decent game to play ever since Wii came out and I finished uber awesome Zelda TP. Yes, sure, there was some crap arround at the time- I tried Red Steel and a few others, and I played Rayman RR all the way through. I thought rabbits were hillarious and it took whole few hours to complete. And I did rip my shirt, curse on top of my lungs, threw wiimote accros the room a few times, publicly declared that everyone at UBISOFT are nothing but a bunch of dim-witted drool-suckers (who probably, instead of polishing their products, spend most of their working hours analy penetrating each other and laughing at the perils of future consumers of their half assedly finished products), particularly after playing a mini game where you are supposed to turn on 4 juke-box radios on the beach and punch themedly dressed rabbits out in time, only to find out that controlls stop working half way through the challenge, no matter what you do. Then, after desperatly trying for an hour to do it, loosing my marbles in the process and digging through the net for another hour, I found out that you had to switch the game to 60 HZ mode in orther to complete the mission. Otherwise it just doesn't work.
Now how lame ass was that.
Then 2 months of nothing. And thousands of wii points spent on stupid "old school" software which, after downloading it, I never touched again.
And Now this!
Sonic and the secret rings or whatever...
Pox on people who made it,
measles on people who sold it to me.
And a nervous breakdown on me.
I have not smoked for almost 3 weeks now, so I am a bit edgy lately which may have played part in my disappointment, but still, mostly it's because this game sucks.
I only played for 11.5 minutes, and the fucking thing managed to wake up such a rage within me that I wanted to pull it out of the damn console, grind it into a fine dust and in the morning take that dust to the fucking EB and demand full refund.
Well, how much it sucks you may ask?
Where to start?
Ahem:
Intro is a cheap ass boring piece of crap.
I do not need a reason to be the hedgehog running around collecting rings.
The plot does not make sense whatever excuse they try to give me- I am fucking hedgehog, I wear sneakers, run really fast and I collect gold rings which for no particular reason float in the air abouve some ground in all these strange environments.
I choose to play it because it reminds me of old days, when games did not have to make sense. Days when you were a plumber, and for some reason you had to save a princess kidnapped by an evil turtle. it did not matter. You wanted to press some buttons and have a blob of pixels respond to your commands on the screen. The fact that it moved in a direction you wanted it to, brougt great joy to my hearth.
Nowdays everything is all perty and different, but not necessarily better than before.
Anyhow, back to the game intro.
If you choose to do intro story, spend at least a couple of grand on it, instead of trying to make it artsy fartsy comic-book that isn't, and to save fifty bucks.
And for fluck's sake give me the option to skip it.
Anyhow, to the game:
Once you get to the point where you start playing the game it goes: wtf?
You are told to tilt and shake wiimote and before you know it, you have collected some rings and it tells you you finished first level...
WHAT?
WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?!!!
SLOW IT DOWN!
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
How come that I did it, if I do not know I did it?
He run! I did not tell him to run! Stop you little blue shit! let me take my time.
Aaargh.
Sega keep on saying how Sonic is about the speed. It is sad when even the fucking creators get their creation wrong.
Sonic was about FUN not speed you r-tards!
back to the game:
Second level- more of the same. I figured this was some sort of tutorial. This time, i am supposed to jump somehow, but I don't. it seems that I have run into some see-through box, and I can't do anything about it. So I re-start the level, and sure enough, this time, just before I run into the box, there's some annoying genie girl giving me a hint: to jump, you must press and hold some button and then releise it at the right moment. It's all cool, but why not just press it at the appropriate moment? Annoying fact is that you have to time it right, which is really hard because sonic is moving down the rail all the time, so you have very little time to do it.
And from there on it gets worse.
Each time you fail to execute the move and have to repeat the chalenge, game freezes just in front of the hardest obstacle and the same annoying voice repeats the same hint for fiftieth time, then the game unfreazes, and before you know it, you either missed the obstacle or failed to perform suggested move in the split second you were given to do it.
AArrgh! WTF?!
This sonic thing has the most retarded controll scheme ever.
My kids left the room, because their father was once again performing his dance of rage in front of the TV. Thanks to Wii and some inferior, poorly designed software.
Once I dried out the ragefoam off the corners of my mouth, I had to sit down and write this.
And my verdict so far is best described by two words:
Cock- munchers and Knob- Gobblers.
Both of which I do not use often, but this seems to be the perfect opportunity to apply those names to the people who made this sad piece of shift.
Thank you for waking up the beast within.
And a word of advice to the wii developpers:
Fuck you for trying to be too creative with that wiimote. Just because it has giros and stuff doesn't mean you have to use them for everything.
And fuck you for turning Sonic into an inferior software. You suck.
And all of you making games, make sure that the game is reasonably playable before you put it in the box and try to get my money for it.



And as is the custom, here's some art:



Sonic on Megadrive was the game that got me hooked to this whole videogame thing. And now, a major player has turned into a joke. I pity you little hedgehog.


PS. I gave it a second chance and played a bit more.
Got into some proper environment to run around.
Didn't get any better.
Sorry SEGA, your game sucks, and I am getting my money back.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

300

Another thing to take my mind off that popeye theme...

300,
the movie,
by far THE BEST trailer I have ever seen in my life. Ever.
When I saw it first time, I think my penis got an inch longer just by me watching it, that's how manly that piece of cinematography is.
I have read the comic long time ago (like 2 months ago) and I can tell you, the movie does it more than a justice.
I could swear that each time I watch the trailer again, I grow more chest hair. Thanks to 300 I am up to 18 hairs on my chest now and my armpits are comming back to life too, after refusing to be populated by hair due to some weird hormonal inbalance for years now, they are currently brimming with life, All thanks to 300 trailer. And my voice gets deeper and I get the urge to manhandle a woman with each new viewing. That last urge is unfortunately undoable, because my wife is much tougher than me, and last time we got physical, guess who was wearing sunglasses to cover a blue eye fro 2 weeks?
I'll give you a hint: it was not her! ;) , ;)
Anyhow, when i saw a thread over at drawingboard.org, in superhero section, with people drawing 300 inspired scenes and themes, I had to respond.
here's my first contribution, soon to be followed by the second, (which would have been tonight, if someone's piece of crap mustek A3 scanner did not shit all over itself and died a horrible, horrible death and is soon to be sacrificed to the god of my back yard in a ceremony involving a crude, homemade catapult and a baseball bat...)
Anyhow, obviously, I have entered some sort of manic stage in my life:: I do not seem to be able to shut the fuck up.

Sooo,

here's image,

Cheers,

Milenko

Monday, March 05, 2007

hey everybody, check it out: it's NSFW!!!

I would like to apologise in advance to all the kids that may suffer traumas after seeing this post.
I feel weird lately, having quit smoking just over 2 weeks ago, after 22 years of intensive inhalation of my friend Nicotine and his evil cousins Cy, Tar, CO the second and their many inbred children.(Hey theres'an idea for cartoon right there, names will do half the job, and these are solid gold. I should move into the comedy, my wife keeps on telling me I am a joke.)
Anyhow, I have this friend blah, blah...smoking for long time...blah,blah...mouth cancer...blah.blah,... so after talking to him, I got scared shitless, and my wife and kids applied some preassure, so, long story short, now I hate everything, can't sleep, feel like my eyes are going to pop out of my head any moment now and I have weird urge to draw cartoon erotica.
I will probably do some more in the nearby future, so avoid stopping by for the next few weeks if you are deeply religious, sexually confused, prude or offended by poorly drawn cartoon characters in suggestive or copromising poses and situations. By then I will get it out of the system, and once i do, I will be first in front of the church on a sunny sunday morning to confess my sins, so you do not have to worry about my poor soul and I will continue to produce shitty art of other, more appropriate, kinds.
Anyway, it's not like people are visiting in scores, so I have to worry about anything.
AAAnyhow,
First to go is Pawpeye...
I have a few more sketches which I would like to make a bit more presentable before I start sharing them. I should be doing it in the next couple of days. (or weeks, if yer looking at frequency of my posts lately) I sure don' need no more preassure than I am ATM.
Olive was always fascinating to me. I do not like skinny women very much, but Olive is different, and i wanted to see what she would be like, if she had a nice set of big boobs on her skinny frame.
As is obvious from the image, No costume reference has been used, an unfortunate fact, which will be corrected in the future.
After I get these out of my system, I will see where i go.
Anyhow, I hope that someone will find this amusing in some way.

Finally, cheers to both of you people visiting
And untill the next post,

Regards,

Milenko