Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Race Against Time!

Holy crap, I just realized that February is almost over and I have not posted for the whole month!
But I have a perfect excuse!
You see, last year, my wife has informed me how I decided it is the time to renovate our kitchen.
I can not recall ever deciding such thing and I am quite sure that, since getting all of the 52 inches of my Sony Bravia, I was very happy with the state of decay my house was in, as I had heaps of shiny pixels to distract me from a horrible, horrible reality.

But, my wife has much better memory than I and she seemed quite sure about my decision so I could do nothing else but follow it up.

As every hot blooded, macho culture raised man, I'd put my foot down and sternly informed my wife that we are going to do it on a fixed budget and that we do not need any bilngy stuff.
Just some plain, cheap kitchen.
I also set a budget and wowed to keep to it to a cent!
However, it is 2 months since I ripped the first cabinet from my old kitchen now, and my house still looks like a fucking construction site, contains half a ton of marble or some other fucking stone (which I hate by the way, but my wife assured me that I wanted it real bad at the time) and the guy making the kitchen is nowhere to be found.
Well, it is not entirely correct because, sometimes, he magically appears at my place just to add a piece of wood or 2 to the already existing, half finished contraption and then disappears again. He comes up to the house with his working truck, spends half an hour taking his tools out of the truck and into the house, screws a few panels at random places, removes some hinges or some other crap he previously installed, packs them in his tool box, takes another half an hour to load his gear back on the truck, informs us that he will be back in a "couple of days" and disappears to an unknown secretive location, most likely some sort of fortress of solitude.
Personally, I have not seen him since 14th of February but my wife informs me of some unexplained random sightings .
I tend to think that he is one of those mysterious creatures, like a yeti or a loch ness monster.
Only proof I have that he is still around is the fact that he sometimes answers his phone and promises a speedy return.
Apparently our kitchen doors have been painted at some painting place for the past month and he is also waiting to hear back from a supplier about some nails or screws or something.
That stuff apparently comes from China where they make it from some magical steel and can not be obtained anywhere else in the world.
Also I tend to believe that, at any give time there's only ten or less of those in existence anywhere on earth.
Another thing is that the kitchen project budget tripled in the meantime and I am eating cheap, home brand, tuna cans and free ketchup packs I steal from MacDonald's for lunch.

But all this was not the point of this story, nor excuse itself, I just got carried away.
Real reason is here:

In order to free the space for the new kitchen, I had to remove the fridge from it usual place and since I had to put it somewhere, I decided that the best place for it would be next to my computer workspace so I can have a bit of a break from work and drawing and grab a healthy snack or a slab of bacon, or whatever else I find inside.
Well, that decision was the beginning of my fall.
I plugged the fridge in the same extension cord that my computer and the rest of my equipment is plugged in and, down the line, it turned out to be a bit of a mistake.
What can go wrong, I thought- computer uses electricity, fridge uses electricity, t is like two puppies feeding off it's bitch mother's tit.
But apparently, each time the fridge compressor turns on, it sucks a lot of electricity in, shocking my PC in the process.
Soo eventually, one morning, 4 weeks ago, I woke up to a dead PC. Power supply was blown up and capacitors on my motherboard looked like the bloated buffalo carcasses massacred by the crazy Bil on the plains of America some centuries ago...
Ive spent first week in denial, each evening going back to the PC and pushing the on button hoping it will magically turn the computer on and I will browse the internet like I've never browsed it before.
But it was not to be. Damn thing was dead for good.
Next week was realization.
All my work and software was on that son of a bitch so I was crapping my pants trying to figure out how much work I have lost.
Finally I decided to get a new machine.
Thanks to my Kitchen Project blowout I have no money, but thanks to the lord, mankind nowadays has these so called credit cards, with their low, low interest rate of 19.99 percent per annum (whatever that means).
So I went and forked out 13 hundred bucks I do not have, and now, I am proudly typing this on my spiffy, brand new computor machine full of giga-bytes multi threads I5's and video rams. Finally, I have more usb ports than I have shit to plug into them!
Anyhow, Long story short, I have learned my lesson and will never repeat the same mistake again. Fridge is now safely plugged where it can not hurt- next to my Sony Bravia, so I can get some snacks'n'drinks while I am watching my favorite TV shows:)
I also finally got some time to draw a few bits, and here they are.
Ah yes, I also thought I had a testicular cancer, but it turns out I did not. I will tell all about that embarrassing adventure some other time.

Cheers to all,